The Support Fatigue of HR Leadership

The Emotional Sponge

You glance over at the clock in your office. It’s 4:57pm. You’re beat! The mental wear and tear of the day has weighed down on you.

You had back to back meetings today. You mediated a heated dispute between management. Listened to multiple grievances for the same team. You conducted a very emotional exit interview, and you finalized a termination for an employee who you know has a growing family.

Human resources tends to be the emotional sponge of the organization. Everything from listening to disagreements to helping employees take sick leave during times of crisis comes through the door of HR.

Everyone walks into your office and leaves their stress at your desk. My question to you is…

Where do you leave yours?

When the Caretaker Crumbles

Human resource professionals are essentially the caretakers of the organization. They soothe anxieties, deliver tough news, and help employees utilize benefits during times of need. Constant exposure to everyone else’s troubles can take its toll. A research report from the Human Resource Certification Institute (HRCI) revealed 40% of HR professionals say their stress levels are “high” or “extreme.” Another 43% say their stress levels are moderate.  

And the stress of emotional baggage is not the only item on HR’s plate. According to that same report, 58% of HR professionals report that their workload has increased in the course of the past year, and 50% of those professionals anticipate this workload growth to continue. 

As we learned from one of our previous issues, The Beta Wave Trap, remaining in a high state of stress for an extended period of time does more than just make you a little bit cranky. Let me tell you why. The brain produces a variety of brain wave frequencies. One of those is called beta waves. These are fast-paced electrical signals in the brain and this brain wave state is most active when you analyze problems, make decisions and process information.

Mid range beta waves (15-18hz) can help you be more alert and increase your level of focus. The trouble comes in with high beta waves, which is a frequency between 18hz - 30hz. While this frequency can also increase alertness, it can also cause agitation. Remaining in this state for long stretches of time significantly drives down your productivity and performance level. This means your more prone to losing focus or making errors. But it doesn’t stop there. 

Human Resource professionals play a unique role within an organization. Providing both strategic and emotional support to other departments, which comes with it's own unique kind of stress.

When you frequently show care and compassion for others without adequate self-care it causes what is known as support fatigue. Support fatigue can cause mental and physical exhaustion, disrupt sleep, and result in emotional disconnection, per an article from Psychology Today. This detachment combined with the irritability of remaining in a high beta wave state can lead to a narrow perspective on situations. As a leader in human resources, this would make it harder for you to solve complex organizational problems. Fortunately, we never discuss any problem without also discussing a strategic solution.

The Empty Cup Needs a Refill

I don’t know who is the originator of this phrase, but I say this all the time to the women I work with:

“You cannot pour from an empty cup.” 

When you constantly pour your energy into everyone else without taking time to refill your own cup, it comes with a high price. It’s difficult to advocate for organizational change, provide emotional support, and develop strategies when you are not able to perform at your optimal levels. 

If you continuously push forward without stopping to refuel, then you’ll be dealing with more than just burnout. Whether you are leading the team in the office or the team at home, stopping to refill your cup is what keeps leaders going.

What do I mean by this? 

Let me put it another way. Think of your mind as the well of infinite supply.

With the single drop of a bucket, you can tap into: 

🔹️ Laser-sharp focus

🔹️ Innovative ideas

🔹️ Intuitive decision-making

The thing is, this doesn’t just happen all on its own. If you never make adequate time to mentally rest and replenish yourself then eventually, you simply won't have the energy to even reach for the bucket. In short you’ll lose grasp of your mental edge. 

Personal Resilience First

Leaders often fail to make time for self-care because they believe it’s a long drawn out process that will cut into their productive time. I have wonderful news to tell you! You do not have to sit quietly with your legs folded into a pretzel all day. We don’t always have a full hour for meditation. I know you have things to do. (And I know we don’t all have the knees for lotus position) 

Likewise, many of us have convinced ourselves that self-care only comes in the form of bubble baths, days off, long vacations, and spa days. In the past, I believed this as well. I waited weeks to take a day off or months for a full vacation. What I found out is that by the time I took that day off or went on that vacation, I was too exhausted to fully enjoy it. I very clearly remember sitting down outside on a beautiful resort, underneath a gorgeous sky and feeling completely worn out. I think you’ll agree that’s not the ideal way to spend a vacation. 

Breathwork provide a safe and natural way to relieve stress quickly and support wellbeing. With the right breathwork techniques you can both relieve stress and prevent burnout by keeping your mind and body in a relaxed state.

What’s important to remember here is that caring for yourself is ultimately what allows you to care for others. Providing support for your team means you have to personally be resilient yourself. And this doesn’t mean you’ll never feel stress again. We wish! What it does mean is that when you do feel stressed, you can bounce back from it quickly. 

This is why I teach my clients simple, repeatable skills that you can do in as little as 5 minutes without ever having to leave your desk. My science-backed techniques help you balance your mood and energy, reduce stress, prevent burnout, improve sleep quality, and enhance your focus.

On airplanes, they always tell you to put your oxygen mask on first before you help someone else. This is because if you try to help others without a mask, you’ll run out of air. Taking care of yourself doesn’t have to be a long drawn out process. And it’s not something that’s nice to do later down the road. For your line of work, it’s something you have to do to support others, because if you don’t you’ll run out of energy. 

The Bottom Line

Your success in HR leadership doesn’t need to come at the expense of your mental and physical health. You can be that strategist for your organization and the support for your team without allowing yourself to become drained. This is what I help women accomplish in one-on-one breathwork consultation. I provide you with easy-to-use techniques that restore your energy and give you the ability to sustain a high performance level. Once you have this skillset in your arsenal, you’ll be absolutely amazed at how quickly you can release pent up stress and frustration. 

When everyone is leaving their stress at your door, you need an outlet for yours. Book a free 15-minute discovery session. We'll pinpoint your specific challenges and I'll walk you through one immediate technique you can use right away to feel relief.

About the Author

Kharron Alderman is the founder of Rejuvenated Mind, a performance consultancy that helps fintech leaders and high-stakes teams optimize their most valuable asset: their nervous system. As the author of Mental Alchemy, Kharron specializes in using science-backed protocols to eliminate decision fatigue, prevent burnout, and protect executive function during rapid scaling.

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